Santa Baby: The Five Sexiest Christmas Gifts for Women
Let's begin with the UNsexiest Christmas gifts, and pay attention boys! Psychological articles recommend that buying your lady an inappropriate Christmas gift could seriously damage your health?
- Kitchenalia: This includes toasters; blenders; food processors and especially new saucepans. Lady baby boomers do not wish to see anything that grates, cuts, chops or juices under the Christmas tree.
- Handkerchieves: Who uses handkerchieves nowadays apart from very old baby boomers who should be persuaded that tissues are more hygienic?
- Practical pyjamas: PYGAMAS?! What were you thinking?! Ditto slippers.
- Socks: Socks are everyday wear and should not be given as gifts, especially at Christmas and never to ladies.
- Cookbooks: (See Kitchenalia). Groan? We are not interested in what you want to eat! Well, perhaps we are but not at Christmas and not as part of a thoughtful Christmas gift. Save the cookbooks for Valentine's Day (uh - no that was a joke?)
The sexy stuff is what makes the World go round for lady baby boomers with a taste for romance. However, it is important when buying sexy presents for ladies to bear in mind that not every push up balcony black lace bra and matching thong will be to your lady's taste. If you are in the least unsure about what your lady likes to wear in the undergarment section, do yourself a favor and stay well clear of the lingerie department.
If you insist that sexy undies are the way forward, remember that ladies lingerie stores are patronized mostly by ladies shopping for themselves - don't handle the merchandise; don't loiter near the changing cubicles and don't ogle other shoppers to try to guess their size - it's rude and might land you in trouble, so ask the sales assistant for help. Psychological articles show us that a great number of obsessive personalities start their careers in lingerie departments!
Safe bets
- All lady baby boomers like soft white cotton nightwear and expensive embroidered bed linen. Yummy.
- Perfume, French and plenty of it. Do not under any circumstances buy the smallest size available unless you want to join the turkey in the oven.
- Theatre tickets. Okay these are borderline sexy but all lady baby boomers like to get them
- Jewelry. Same rules as perfume but not necessarily French.
- Chocolates; sexy pillows; music CDs; books and leather goods are all welcome but only in quantity.
Gift wrap absolutely everything. If you cannot gift wrap, ask a friend to help you.
Merry Christmas Santa Baby!
